Читаем Nightside the Long Sun полностью

Blood closed his fan of cards as if about to hand them over to Silk. “I’m not too crazy about chemical people, Patera. Somebody told me you’ve got a Maytera Rose. Maybe I could get her, or isn’t she there any more?”

“Oh, yes.” Silk hoped his voice did not reflect the dismay he felt whenever he thought of Maytera Rose. “But she’s quite elderly, sir, and we try to spare her poor legs whenever we can. I feel sure that Maytera Marble would prove completely satisfactory.”

“No doubt she will.” Blood counted his cards again, his lips moving, his fat, beringed fingers reluctant to part from each wafer-thin, shining rectangle. “You were going to tell me about enlightenment a minute ago, Patera. You said you’d pray for me.”

“Yes,” Silk confirmed eagerly, “and I meant it. I will.”

Blood laughed. “Don’t bother. But I’m curious, and I’ve never had such a good chance to ask one of you about it before. Isn’t enlightenment really pretty much the same as possession?”

“Not exactly, sir.” Silk gnawed his lower lip. “You know, sir, at the schola they taught us simple, satisfying answers to all of these questions. We had to recite them to pass the examination, and I’m tempted to recite them again for you now. But the actualities—enlightenment, I mean, and possession—aren’t really simple things at all. Or at least enlightenment isn’t. I don’t know a great deal about possession, and some of the most respected hierologists are of the opinion that it exists potentially but not actually.”

“A god’s supposed to pull on a man just like a tunic—that’s what they say. Well, some people can, so why not a god?” Watching Silk’s expression, Blood laughed again. “You don’t believe me, do you, Patera?”

Silk said, “I’ve never heard of such people, sir. I won’t say they don’t exist, since you assert that they do, although it seems impossible.”

“You’re young yet, Patera. If you want to dodge a lot of mistakes, don’t you forget that.” Blood glanced sidelong at his driver. “Get on these putts, Grison. Make them keep their paws off my floater.”

“Enlightenment…” Silk stroked his cheek, remembering.

“That ought to be easy, it seems to me. Don’t you just know a lot of things you didn’t know before?” Blood paused, his eyes upon Silk’s face. “Things that you can’t explain, or aren’t allowed to?”

A patrol of Guardsmen passed, their slug guns slung and their left hands resting on the hilts of their swords. One touched the bill of his jaunty green cap to Blood.

“It’s difficult to explain,” Silk said. “In possession there’s always some teaching, for good or ill. Or at any rate that’s what we’re taught, though I don’t believe—In enlightenment, there’s much more. As much as the theodidact can bear, I would say.”

“It happened to you,” Blood said softly. “Lots of you say it did, but from you it’s lily. You were enlightened, or you think you were. You think it’s real.”

Silk took a step backward, bumping against one of the onlookers. “I didn’t call myself enlightened, sir.”

“You didn’t have to. I’ve been listening to you. Now you listen to me. I’m not giving you these cards, not for your holy sacrifice or for anything else. I’m paying you to answer my questions, and this is the last one. I want you to tell me—right now—what enlightenment is, when you got it, and why you got it. Here they are.” He held them up again. “Tell me, Patera, and they’re yours.”

Silk considered, then plucked them from Blood’s hand. “As you say. Enlightenment means understanding everything as the god who gives it understands it. Who you are and who everyone else is, really. Everything you used to think you understood, you see with complete clarity in that instant, and know that you didn’t really understand it at all.”

The onlookers murmured, each to his neighbor. Several pointed toward Silk. One waved over the drawer of a passing handcart.

“Only for an instant,” Blood said.

“Yes, only for an instant. But the memory remains, so that you know that you knew.” The three cards were still in Silk’s hand; suddenly afraid that they would be snatched away by one of the ragged throng around him, he slipped them into his pocket.

“And when did this happen to you? Last week? Last year?”

Silk shook his head, glancing up at the sun. The thin black line of the shade touched it as he watched. “Today. Not an hour ago. A ball—I was playing a game with the boys …

Blood waved the game away.

“And it happened. Everything seemed to stand still. I really can’t say whether it was for an instant, or a day, or a year, or any other period of time—and I seriously doubt that any such period could be correct. Perhaps that’s why we call him the Outsider: because he stands outside of time, all the time.”

“Uh-huh.” Blood favored Silk with a grudging smile. “I’m sure it’s all smoke. Just some sort of daydream. But I’ve got to admit it’s interesting smoke, the way you tell it. I’ve never heard of anything like this before.”