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“And then the rat attacked and they fought and by some miracle that brave little cat won the fight and flung the rat into the ravine. I liked it. The lead cat was quite the actor.”

“Dooley!” Kingman cried, as his feline audience began to show signs of restlessness.

“Yes, Kingman?” said Dooley.

But too late. The fatal fascination Kingman had held over his admirers was broken, and as they dispersed, aiming such choice words at Kingman as‘fake’ and ‘show-off’, Kingman shouted back, “But the story isn’t finished! Ladies, please!”

But no dice. Kingman had been booed off the stage and his fans were fans no more.

He heaved a deep sigh.“So hard these days to educate and entertain. One faux pas and they’re gone.” He directed a not-too-friendly glance at my friend. “And your babbling didn’t help. Why did you have to go and interrupt me just when I was going so well?”

“Odelia is thinking about sending us to Thailand to be eaten,” said Dooley. “And we need your advice, Kingman. I don’t want to be eaten, and neither does Max.”

Kingman’s wrath quickly dissipated. “Thailand? Eaten?”

“How many times to I have to tell you, Dooley?” I said. “We’re not going to Thailand. And even if we were, I’m sure Odelia wouldn’t allow people to eat us.”

“Odelia is going to Thailand?” asked Kingman, interested. “On vacation?”

“Not a vacation,” I said. “Five women who participated in a reality show have disappeared, and the show’s assistant producer has asked Odelia to investigate.”

“What reality show?”

“Passion Island.”

“I love that show!” Kingman cried. “Wilbur watches it all the time. He even signed up for the auditions but he wasn’t selected.”

“Auditions?” I asked. “But I thought Wilbur was a bachelor?”

“Yeah, shouldn’t he audition for The Bachelor instead?” asked Dooley, indicating he knew his reality shows well. Then again, Dooley spends a lot of time with Gran, and if anyone is a reality show aficionado, it’s Odelia’s grandmother.

“He wanted to try out for seducer,” Kingman explained.

We all glanced up at Wilbur. The gaunt, white-bearded, rheumy-eyed old man was watching Tom& Jerry and chuckling delightedly, slapping his thighs in the process.

“He doesn’t look like a seducer,” Dooley said, and I thought that was probably the understatement of the year.

“No, the producers didn’t even invite him,” said Kingman. “Too bad. Wilbur said he could have done a lot of damage.”

I winced at the notion of Wilbur Vickery putting on his best seduction game. Somehow the prospect didn’t hold a lot of appeal.

“Look, if Odelia decides to go to Thailand, all you gotta do is say no,” said Kingman. “She’s your human, but that doesn’t mean you have to do what she says. You simply tell her no, not this time, and you stay home. Someone will be there to look after you guys, right?”

“Yeah, Gran definitely isn’t going,” I said.

“See? Problem solved. In fact maybe it will do you some good. No Odelia means no cases to solve or clues to hunt. Consider this a nice little vacation.”

Dooley’s face cleared, and I have to confess that the prospect of spending three weeks doing absolutely nothing sounded pretty sweet to me, too. Eating, sleeping… more eating.

Three cats came sashaying down the sidewalk, wagging their tails, and Kingman gave them his best grin.“Hey, ladies, did I tell you the story of the big hairy rat and how I defeated that sucker?”

It was clear we’d just been dismissed, and so we went on our way.

“Kingman is right, Max,” said Dooley. “If Odelia goes to Thailand we simply tell her we don’t want to go, on account of the fact that we don’t like to be eaten. She’ll understand.”

I agreed wholeheartedly. And so it was with a spring in our step and the prospect of three weeks vacation on our minds that we continued our daily perambulation of Hampton Cove.

Chapter 8

Odelia was in her editor’s office, discussing Kimmy’s request. Dan, his brow creased and his long white beard waggling, was clearly thinking hard.

“So… you’d have to go all the way to Thailand for three weeks?”

“Kimmy can get both me and Chase signed up as one of the four couples. It would be perfect. We could talk to everyone involved in the show’s production and find out what’s going on.”

“It could be dangerous,” Dan said.

“I know, but Chase will be there in case something goes wrong.”

“Mh…” said Dan, clearly not fully convinced. He was fingering his beard now, presumably digging around for crumbs he’d missed during his morning grooming session. Odelia had always wondered how men like Dan managed to keep their beards so immaculate. If she had a beard like that it would very quickly turn into a receptacle for anything that failed to go down the hatch while indulging in the occasional snack or sitting down for her three square meals a day.

“You don’t think it’s a good idea?”