Читаем The Mountain Shadow полностью

‘How so, master-ji?’ Doubtful asked quickly. ‘How can the connection to this tendency field, or to the Divine, explain the meaning of life?’

‘The question is invalid,’ Idriss said softly, being kind to a colleague who was also pursuing a truth worthy of penance. ‘Meaning is not an attribute of life. Meaning is an attribute of will. Purpose is an attribute of life.’

The sages conferred again, leaning toward Let Me See, who was facing Idriss directly. They shoved angels from the head of a pin, one by one, deciding which portion of the tiny dome would give them best purchase.

Idriss sighed, looking out at the faces of the students, dressed in white, a magnolia circle of fascination. The tallest trees braved the departing sun, shielding the holy men with shade.

‘So –’ Vinson began to ask.

‘Meaning of life, wrong question,’ Karla said. ‘Purpose of life, right question.’

‘Wow,’ Vinson said. ‘So, that’s, like, two questions.’

The sages drew apart. Doubtful cleared his throat.

‘Are you speaking of connecting with the Divine, or with other living creatures?’

‘Every true connection, honest and free, no matter where it occurs, with a flower or a saint, is a connection to the Divine, because every sincere connection automatically connects the connectors to the spiritual tendency field.’

‘But how can one know that one is connected?’ Doubtful asked doubtfully.

Idriss frowned, lowering his eyes, unable to suppress the sadness he saw waving from a lonely shore of Doubtful’s devotion. He looked up again, smiling at Doubtful kindly.

‘The tendency field affirms it,’ Idriss said.

‘How?’

‘Sincere penance, such as kindness, or compassion, connects us to the tendency field,’ Idriss said. ‘The tendency field always responds, sometimes with a message from a dragonfly, sometimes with the granting of a fervent wish, and sometimes with the kindness of a stranger.’

The sages conferred again.

Vinson used the break in the discourse to throw his arm around my shoulder and pull me into his confusion. He leaned us in to whisper to Karla, but she didn’t let him start.

‘The force is always with you, if you give up force,’ Karla said.

‘Oh.’

The sages coughed their way back into the debate politely.

‘You seek to wrap meaning up in a conundrum of intention,’ Grumpy replied. ‘But are we really free in what we decide, or are we determined by Divine knowledge of all that we do?’

‘Are we victims of God?’ Idriss laughed. ‘Is that what you’re suggesting? Then why give us free will? To torment us? Is that what you really want me to believe? Our will exists to ask questions of God, not just beg for answers.’

‘I want to know what you believe, Master Idriss.’

‘What I believe, great sage, or what I know?’

‘What you fervently believe,’ Grumpy replied.

‘Very well. I believe that the Source that birthed our Universe came with us into this reality as a spiritual tendency field. I believe that Will, our human will, is in a constant state of superposition, interacting with, and not interacting with the spiritual tendency field, like the photons of light from which it’s made.’

The sages conferred again, and Vinson almost asked what was going on.

‘The force is actually you,’ Karla whispered in summary, ‘if you’re humble enough for it.’

‘You are basing very much of what you say on the possibility of choice, master-ji,’ Ambitious said. ‘But many of the choices we make are trivial.’

‘There is no such thing as a trivial choice,’ Idriss said. ‘That is why so many powerful people try to influence all of our choices. If it were a trivial thing, they would not bother.’

‘You know the things of which I speak, master-ji,’ Ambitious said, a little irritated. ‘There are a thousand trivial choices that we make every day. Choice cannot be such an important factor, as you suggest, when so much of it is of trifling importance, or made without spiritual thinking.’

‘I repeat,’ Idriss smiled patiently, ‘there is no such thing as a trivial choice. Every choice is significant, no matter how unconsciously made. The choices we make, every time we make them, collapse the superposition that we call human life into one reality or another, and one perception or another, and that decision has minute or great but nonetheless eternal effects on the timeline.’

‘You call that power?’ Ambitious challenged.

‘This is energy,’ Idriss corrected. ‘Spiritual energy, sufficient to alter Time, which is no small thing. Time was the lord of all living things, for billions of years, until Will arose to greet him.’

Let Me See called the sages to confer. He was enjoying himself, even at the expense of his colleagues, or perhaps especially at the expense of his colleagues. It was impossible to tell if his tactical conclaves were designed to confound Idriss, or his fellow sages.

Vinson looked at Karla, and was about to speak.

‘Cover your karmic ass,’ Karla synopsised, ‘everything you do affects the timeline, dude.’