Well…” She waved to Captain Tony, who winked and waved back. “That just disappeared.”

“Well, you may not be able to protect her forever.” I laughed, shaking my head and looking over to where Janie and Liz were leaning on each other, still laughing. “But you’re sure going to try, aren’t you?” Carrie slanted a smile at me and then looked at Janie. “I’m her mother. It’s the least I can do.”

Chapter Twelve

I wanted to tell Janie about my idea-ask her what she thought-but I didn’t get the chance before we finally got home, an hour after the bars closed.

TJ and I just sprawled on the sofa bed after everyone else had gone upstairs. I’d had way too many margaritas and the room was spinning.

I did, however, have time to ask TJ.

“I thought we’d try it for a year,” I urged past his momentary silence at the suggestion. “And it would be great not to have to worry about day care, and…”

“Oh come on, Ronnie.” TJ grabbed me and pulled me close, making the already spinning room whirl even faster. “Just admit it. You want to take her to bed with us.”

I blinked in the darkness at his directness, but that was TJ-he always managed to find a way to cut through the crap. Especially mine.

“Am I that obvious?”

Of course I was. He knew it. Carrie and Doc knew it too. And they had still agreed. I remembered Carrie kissing me in the kitchen, the hard hug and her words about trusting me with her daughter. She knew. Of course she knew-and that had been both her blessing and her goodbye to me, I realized.

A chapter of our lives, the vacation I’d once spent in Doc and Mrs. B’s bed, had closed, and even if we’d tried to go back, it just wasn’t possible. Life had gone on, the world had moved on. Gretchen was going to California, we were going to New York, Janie and Henry had grown up. We were splitting again in different directions.

TJ chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “I really did create a monster, didn’t I?”

Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but I couldn’t seem to stop the words. “I want this, TJ. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything. I want her, and I want you, too. I always knew I was this way…I always felt like I was missing something…”

“I know,” he said simply, rocking me gently in the dark.

I felt tears stinging my eyes. “But now I can’t…I can’t go back. I can’t close this door again. I don’t… I don’t want to.”

“You don’t have to,” he whispered, kissing my cheeks, finding tears there, and kissing me again.

“It’s okay with you?” I asked, feeling a tightness in my chest beginning to loosen as I understood and realized his acceptance.

“Always has been,” he murmured, settling me against him, tucking my head under his chin so I could hear his heart beating in his chest. “I’m just glad you’re not pretending anymore.”

I shook my head, laughing at myself. He’d known, had always known, and had pushed me exactly where I wanted to go all along. How foolish I’d been to worry, to think he would leave me or hate me or…

“I love you,” I whispered in the darkness. “It doesn’t change anything about how I feel. I’m your wife, and I love you.”

“I love you, too, Ronnie.” He hugged me closer still. “I told you before, I’m not going anywhere.”

Now there was just one more person I had to talk to… Janie. When I thought of her, my whole body responded as if I were on fire and I knew, I just knew, she felt the same way. I’d seen the way she looked at and acted around TJ. She wanted it as much-if not more-than I did.

I thought for sure I wouldn’t be able to sleep, but I’d had way more margaritas than I cared to admit and I drifted off in my husband’s arms, floating away in a sea of sudden, unexpected happiness.

* * * *

“Janie?” I thought I was dreaming. She was kissing me awake, her naked body pressed against me in the dark, her fingers seeking the heat between my thighs. “What are you doing?”

“Shhh.” She kissed me quiet again, her mouth soft and supple, her tongue slippery, making me shiver. “He’s sleeping.”

Not for long, I thought, smiling as I spread my legs a little wider for her probing fingers, gasping as she found my clit with beautiful precision.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” she whispered as she shifted her weight onto me. Her thigh parted mine and she lifted her fingers to her mouth, tasting me, making me groan. “You taste so good.”

Next to us, TJ sighed and rolled to his back and we both stiffened, breath held, until he was quiet again, his breath becoming deeper, more even.

“I want to lick you.” She was already pulling the covers off, sliding down between my legs, and I didn’t protest as her tongue, sweet, soft, found the hard nub of my clit. I let my knees fall wide, closing my eyes and letting her take me, her mouth working against my pussy, her fingers slipping through the wet folds of my lips, searching for my hole. I shifted my hips, helping her find it in the dark, biting my lip to keep from moaning out loud when she slid two fingers deep into me.