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“It’s a pity that they canceled the show, though,” said Gran, offering the contrarian view as usual. “I think it had potential. Especially with Scarlett and myself on board.”

“Yeah, I think we could have taken that show to the next level,” Scarlett agreed, as she subjected the sausage Tex had deposited on her plate with a touch of suspicion. Like the proverbial pit, it was black from pole to pole, and didn’t look fit for human consumption.

Tex and Marge had returned from their trip the moment they heard what danger their daughter had escaped from. They’d missed a big chunk of their European vacation, but had vowed to make up for it next year, turning this travel bug into a regular thing.

“If I’d known how much trouble you were putting yourself in I’d never have allowed you to go through with it,” Marge said censoriously, clucking like a worried mother hen. “Promise me you’ll never put yourself in danger like that again, Odelia. Promise me now.”

“I promise,” said Odelia, but I could see she was crossing her fingers behind her back.

“What is she doing, Max?” asked Dooley, gesturing to the strange custom.

“She’s lying to her mother,” said Harriet. “Making promises she won’t keep.”

“You mean she’d go through the Passion Island ordeal again?” asked Dooley, surprised. “Willingly?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” said Brutus. “Let’s face it, though. She was never in any danger.”

We’d all heard the reports of the unmarked vans snatching the five other women off the street, their takers setting up an elaborate ruse to make the families believe they were all right—four to get married to the men of their dreams, the fifth on a spiritual kick. What had tipped off the FBI was that one of the women had managed to escape, and had started a chain of reactions leading to the arrest of Rick on Passion Island.

Tex, working relentlessly at the grill, was happily flipping burgers like a pro again, providing his family sustenance. If anything, though, his very particular set of skills was getting worse, which seemed impossible. Usually humans get better with practice, but not our good doctor Poole. Still, he was clearly having a ball, and that’s all that matters.

“So when is the show coming out?” asked Scarlett now. “I can’t wait to see myself in action.” She preened a little as she spoke the words.

“The show isn’t coming out, sweetheart,” said Gran. “The show has been canceled. As in buried deep within the archives of the network, never to be seen again, except maybe by wizened old scholars working on a dissertation on reality show history.”

“But… what about all that footage?”

“Buried. Deep,” said Gran. “Like Indiana Jones’s Ark of the Covenant.”

“So I worked my seductive ass off for nothing?!” cried Scarlett, visibly upset.

“The joy is not in reaching your destination, but in the journey,” said Charlene, earning herself a scathing look from Scarlett and wisely shutting up. A good politician knows when to speak, but also knows when to be quiet.

“I’m glad Odelia wasn’t kidnapped,” said Dooley. “I don’t think she would have liked to spend time with a Russian oligarch, an Arabian billionaire or a Chinese mobster. And I don’t think we would have liked it either.”

“They wouldn’t have kidnapped us, Dooley,” Harriet said. “They would have snatched Odelia, not her cats.”

“But… they’d have simply left us behind?” He looked shocked at the prospect.

“These people aren’t exactly cat lovers, Dooley,” said Brutus. “Probably they like dogs, though. Big, mean, tough canines. Not sweet pussies like you and me.”

“Or me,” said Harriet.

“Or me,” I said, nodding.

Dooley shivered visibly.“Imagine. Having to spend time with a mean dog when you’re a cat person like Odelia. The horror.”

I shared a look with Brutus and Harriet, and we were in silent agreement that we weren’t going to tell Dooley that when being kidnapped by a human trafficker to be traded to a rich pervert having to spend time with dogs probably wasn’t the worst part.

Instead, I snapped a piece of steak out of the air that Odelia threw me. She’d already cut off the burnt parts, and had saved only the succulent center. I nodded my thanks and gulped the whole thing down eagerly.

For a moment, only the sound of chewing filled the air, as four cats devoured their portions. Then, Harriet said,“You know? Being on Passion Island has really made me think.”

“Oh?” I said, swallowing with relish.

She gave me a sweet smile.“I missed you guys. I mean, I know we don’t always get along. And I know I can be something of a pain in the patootie sometimes—“

“Oh, no,” I began to say, but she stopped me with a gesture of her paw.

“No, it’s true, Max. But deep down you know that I love you guys, right?”

I nodded, swallowing again, only this time it wasn’t a tasty morsel of meat but a lump in my throat.

“I love you guys, too,” said Brutus a little gruffly. “And if you tell anyone, I’ll kill you.”

“I love you guys so much!” said Dooley, sniffling unabashedly.